The Right to Grieve and Rejoice

by Nicolette L. Cagle, October 7, 2026; dedicated with gratitude to MH, SC, and CR

We awake in the dark, feeling cold and empty. We reach for water, we reach for a book, we reach for comfort. We no longer know if the pain within is a sign of health or dysfunction, motivating or paralyzing, useful or ineffective. We seek another state: the simplicity of childhood, the certainty of late adolescence, the peace of new parenthood. We spend moments, sometimes even days, in those states, but the experience has become so obviously impermanent.

No feeling human could sit without discomfort reading this morning’s headlines: 1,000 children buried beyond the walls of the prisons they died in; a tax-supported intelligence agency worker stealing millions in gold bars; the unelected ultra-wealthy dictating government policy; people “buckling under medical bills”; botched executions, mass mourning, civil war, and rape. These are small slices of living in this world, glimpses that doesn’t begin to address the harm we are doing to Mother Earth and all her creatures, or the tensions we feel in our personal crusades to make this a more livable, love-filled life for all.

There is, of course, beauty and joy, too. We can appreciate the heavy blankets that cover our bodies and the soft pillows beneath our heads and the enthusiastic crow of the early-rising chicken. We can nestle in the peace of dark nights and the possibility of every sunrise. We can let the warmth of a mug seep into our cool hands and let it touch our souls. We can savor children’s kind smiles and the kindness of strangers and neighbors alike.

Life is filled with joy and love, and it is also filled with devastation and hatred. Sometimes we are on the outside of one experience looking in, and sometimes we are on the inside looking out. When one person suffers, we all suffer; when one person feels deep, pure joy, we all can feel deep, pure joy. Let us make no apologies for feeling fully; we are allowed to feel despair, we are allowed to be elated, we are allowed to grieve, and we are allowed to rejoice.

Want to read more?

For more ponderings on sorrow, joy, and making room for life:

• Even when… explores bringing sadness to the river and finding a song to join.
• To Hold Rather Than Wait holds life with wonder and care.
• The Big Bang Within makes space for the pain, passion, and possibility within.